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# Is Humiliation the Great Motivator?
- URL: https://convergencepointeducation.com/is-humiliation-the-great-motivator/
- Published: 2026-11-06T06:13:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-07T06:13:28.000Z
- Description: Does a supervisor's visit make your team relax or brace? On accountability without humiliation.
- Author: Cindy Richman
- Tags: Empathy, Trust, Authenticity

Well, Here's the Thing…

Have you ever noticed how differently people react when their supervisor walks through the door?

Some are genuinely happy to see them. Others suddenly start straightening things up, checking their work, and wondering what the boss is going to find wrong.

It's almost like someone yelled, "Places, everyone! The boss is here!"

When did a visit from someone who's supposed to support and lead a team become something people dread?

Now, I understand that managers have responsibilities. They're accountable for their teams, meeting goals, following procedures, and delivering results. Sometimes that means addressing poor performance or having difficult conversations. That's part of the job.

But accountability doesn't require humiliation.

And just because someone isn't doing something your way doesn't necessarily mean they're doing it wrong.

I've worked with associates who have wonderful ways of connecting with customers or completing tasks that I'd never considered. Sometimes I've learned a better way simply because I took the time to listen.

Imagine that! The manager learning from an associate.

Of course, some things aren't negotiable. Safety, compliance, honesty, and required procedures matter. But there's also room for individuality.

We're not robots.

If we're so focused on whether someone said exactly the right words, we might miss what actually happened. Did the customer feel heard? Were their needs understood? Were appropriate recommendations made?

And if something was missed, that's an opportunity to teach, not embarrass.

Somewhere along the way, coaching seems to have become something people dread.

"We need to have a coaching conversation."

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Out comes the checklist, followed by the dreaded "role-playing." Say this, don't say that. Let's try it again!

Now, I'm not saying structured training doesn't have its place. Of course it does. But I've always believed coaching should be a living, breathing part of the workday, not something we save for when somebody does something wrong.

Sometimes it's recognizing something an associate did particularly well. Sometimes it's talking about what could have gone better. And sometimes it's listening to an idea you hadn't considered.

Not every conversation needs a clipboard.

So, is humiliation really the great motivator?

I don't think so.

I think it encourages people to hide mistakes, keep their heads down, and put on a performance whenever the boss walks through the door.

And if everyone suddenly changes how they work when you arrive, are you seeing how your team actually operates, or just the performance they've learned to put on for you?

I've had managers who taught me wonderful things and others who taught me exactly what I didn't want to become. And I certainly haven't gotten every conversation right myself. I'm still learning, too.

So here's a little challenge for those of us who lead others.

The next time you spend time with your team, make a point of looking for what's going right.

And when you see something good, say something! Recognize it. Celebrate it. Let people know you've noticed.

And when you see something that needs work, don't ignore it. Take the time to understand what's happening, offer some guidance, and help them get it right.

That's part of our responsibility as leaders, too.

When your team sees you coming, are they happy to see you, or are they wondering what they've done wrong?

I'd love to hear your thoughts, whether you're a manager or someone who's been on the receiving end of a supervisor's visit.

And it isn't just at work. Humiliation isn't a great motivator in our everyday lives either. We all do better when the people around us take a moment to put themselves in our shoes and treat us like we matter.

Grab your coffee. Let's chat!

Cindy